me sunset.jpg

Hey There

Here is a little about me. My background, my struggles and what ultimately led me to be a life coach. It is bit raw and a bit vulnerable but I want you to know I understand your pain. 

If you would rather listen than read 

podcast links

My Story

I was sat on the floor of the shower, sobbing. Too exhausted to stand up and actually put shampoo in my hair, my son was knocking on the bathroom door asking for breakfast and the shady suicidal thoughts at the back of my head came strongly into focus. It wasn’t so much an active thought of wanting to die, more a thought of no longer wanting to live, it would be easier if the world could just stop so I could get off. It took all the strength in me to respond to my son calmly and to drag myself off that shower floor. I called in sick for the first time in forever to my busy job in social care management.
This wasn’t the first time I had felt like this. In fact, over the last 15 years this was probable the third bout of what Doctors had labelled as ‘depression’. Even at the time of getting the diagnosis and being pumped full of SSRI’s I still had this niggling thought in the back of my mind that ‘depression’ was not the right label for me. Sure some of the symptoms I was displaying were similar; No desire to do things I used to enjoy, insomnia, feeling exhausted, complete lack of self care and a lack of motivation. But I could not help feeling like there was more to this.
There was a deeper disconnect. I had always felt stressed to some degree. I work in front line social care management and have done for 16 years. I worked with very vulnerable and challenging individuals with a wide range of conditions. To work in these roles we accept a level of stress right?
We know the sector is under funded and understaffed.
But this, whatever it was; impacted every aspect of my life. If I was in a bad mood, everyone around me had to be too. I lacked patience and compassion for others. I resented by son for taking me away from work, I resented work for taking me away from my son, I resented by partner for having a better work life balance, I resented by friends for being happy and I resented my family for their cheery outlook on things. I couldn’t find happiness even when I tried.
I had poor eating habits, my usual desire to exercise and look after my body was completely skewed; either exercising to the extreme to control something or not having the energy to exercise at all.
My job role and status had always been so linked to my self worth so I had a deep feeling of, "Well if I am not doing this, the thing that defines me and sets me apart from others, then who am I?"
It was during my time off from work that I was idlily scrolling on social media, I came across an
advert for Coaching. I was on a waiting list for both GP referred counselling and for a private service.
I had received counselling before and yes it was OK, but I always felt, for me anyway, it was more sympathy and listening that anything I could take over into my life, any strategies and tools that I could use to improve my mental state.
The coaching offer sounded good. It would provide me with a deep dive into all areas of my life, it would give me clarity on what the issues were and it would provide me with support and
accountability to recognise what was actually going on in my life.
As a natural cynic I did approach my initial coaching call with a little bit of scepticism. But that one call changed my life.
It was like a light bulb moment. I suddenly realised that Burnout was the issue. Not depression or anxiety or being ‘too busy’ as it had always been labelled in the past. Once I knew what it was I was dealing with I was able to find actual strategies and tools that enabled me to start functioning again, that allowed me to recognise my stress responses and know how to manage them. I learnt how to build resilience, I learnt how to use my adversity to my advantage. I learnt how to instantly change my mood through Neuro linguistic Programming Techniques. I learnt how to manage the low mood and the panic attacks and I learnt to change my mindset from a negative one to a positive one. I was supported 100% of the way by my coach and by the amazing community of people around me.
This wasn’t sympathy or a quick fix it was a real transformational experience.
This knowledge that I picked up on this journey was like a light bulb moment. I began reading around the subject of burn out and stress, exploring, with guidance from my coach and the wonderful coaching community I was part of. I explored all kinds of tools that helped me manage what life was throwing at me and create healthier reactions and develop a bullet proof resilient and positive mindset.
Those tools have allowed me to create happier and healthier routines in my day which have been the strong foundation to coping with the more difficult stuff. I have discovered the oh so elusive ‘life balance’ that everyone is after. Self-care and self-development in all aspects of my life are given priority every day. Now that I am not living life in the ‘reactive mode’ all the time I enjoy each step, I enjoy the process of just being. I am content. I am satisfied. My knowledge and thirst for learning and developing myself and others is back!
Now I can not only recognise my triggers for stress and overwhelm but I am able to deal with them before they become an issue.

I have mastered the art of only controlling the controllable and not worrying about the rest. The challenging situations have not gone, this is life after all but now when an obstacle comes up, I know I can handle it and I do.
I wake up each day feel refreshed and with purpose. My passion for helping others has come back tenfold, I am so much more patient and tolerant with those around me. Me having a bad day no longer means that everyone around me has too as well. In fact I was so compelled towards helping others on this journey that I have built my own coaching business

I also help them manage their stress, build resilience and avoid burnout. In turn they have rediscovered their passion and drive.

If you can relate to any of this and want to book a free discovery call to see if I can help click below.

Call 

+4407841025541

Email 

Follow

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram